Red Alert
by MoonSword1994
Summary: Something near and dear to the Commander has been lost and the whole galaxy will pay dearly if it is not returned quickly and in one piece. What is this priceless item? The Commander's space hamster of course! A one-shot, gift fic for my dear friend Piper Squeaks. Implied FemShep/Miranda. Rated T for mild language and suggestive themes. Bioware owns all again.


"Who's the cutest hamster in the whole galaxy? You are!" cooed Commander Miya Shepard as she dangled a piece of lettuce in her pet hamster's face, he scampered around his cage as if he understood her words. "Here you go, sweetie pie, your favorite treat."

The tiny ball of fur nibbled at the lettuce while it was still in Miya's hand, she smiled down at the fuzzy creature then ran a finger down its back, taking small pleasure in the way he nestled further into her hand. There were very few things in this galaxy that brought out the joy in the tough as nails Commander and her hamster was one of them, this was the first pet she had had since living on Mindoir all those years ago.

"Commander, we are approaching Illium, Miranda and Garrus are standing by in the airlock," said EDI overhead.

Miya sighed and looked down at her hamster one last time. "Mommy's got to go to work, you just rest in your cage and eat that lettuce, when I get back I'll let you loose in the cockpit so you can scare Joker."

The tiny hamster squeaked, sounding like it agreed with her idea.

"You like that, huh?" said Miya as she placed him in his cage. "Only if you're good though, okay? I have to go now, see you later, Major Fluffball."

Major Fluffball squeaked once again and Miya ran out of her cabin, her trusty Black Widow already in her hands. She had been so wrapped up in the mission's details that she neglected to remember the close the lid on top of the hamster cage, a fact not neglected by the mischievous hamster.

* * *

"That was a fucking awesome mission!" shouted Miya a few hours later, throwing a fist in the air, nearly hitting Garrus in the mandible. "Buildings exploded, we were betrayed by a rogue Spectre and to top it all off we got to have a car chase! Now we're off to face the legendary Shadow Broker, could that mission have gotten any better?"

Miranda chuckled, obviously amused at the Commander's excitement. "You know, Shepard, most people would've seen that mission as something not to repeat."

Miya stuck out her tongue playfully at the beautiful operative. "I'm not generic, as you well know, Miss Lawson. Besides, you can't tell me that wasn't fun."

"Fun for you two maybe, you weren't the ones left behind at Liara's office," grumbled Garrus as they made their way to the elevator.

"Oh please, we found you loitering around that bachelor party we past by with the Asari dancer," sighed Miranda, "you didn't stay bored long."

Garrus shrugged, his mandibles twitching against the impending smile. "You might have a point there, Lawson, but I'll never actually come out and tell you that you're right about anything."

"Not even about calibrations?" asked Miranda a sly smirk dancing on her pink lips.

"You'll never be right about calibrations," said Garrus curtly.

They were just about to enter the elevator when it opened to reveal Kelly already inside, she was twiddling her fingers nervously her head down, she did not appear to notice the three well armed soldiers standing in front of her.

"Hi, Kelly," said Miya, trying to catch her eye.

Kelly nearly jumped out of her skin, obviously startled by Miya's voice. She looked up but quickly looked back down at the floor as she walked back over to her station. "Hello, Commander. Did the mission go alright?"

"Yeah," said Miya suspiciously, she looked over at Miranda and Garrus, both of whom merely shrugged they were just as confused as she was. "We had a car chase."

"Sounds fun," said Kelly, as she opened her terminal, still not looking at anyone.

"We attacked a hotel," continued Miya, trying to figure out what was wrong with Kelly.

"Wonderful," she said, her focus fixed on moving her fingers.

"I almost killed a hostage," said Miya, paying very close attention to her yeoman's reactions, not finding one that would register as normal.

"Fascinating," replied Kelly, her hands now shaking as she typed.

"Kelly!" shouted Miya, now very annoyed with her yeoman. The young woman jumped, startled by the small woman's big voice.

"Yes, Commander?" asked Kelly timidly, her eyes still locked on the floor.

Miya huffed, putting her hands on her hips, her pink hair looking more intense with the red flush of her face. "What's wrong with you? More than normally is anyway."

Kelly twisted her fingers, nervous about what she had to tell the pint sized commander. "I went upstairs to your cabin to feed your fish and your hamster, like you requested, and . . . and . . ."

"And?" echoed Miya, leaning in closer.

"I . . . uh . . . couldn't find your hamster," said Kelly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Miya stood frozen in place for a few seconds, letting the words register in her mind as fact, before screaming against her pursed lips and kicking Kelly squarely in the shin then she ran off to the elevator. Kelly hopped in place while Miranda and Garrus exchanged an amused look, this was not out of the ordinary for their commander but it never ceased to be amusing.

"How long do you think it'll be before she starts tearing the ship apart looking for that hamster of hers?" asked Miranda as she and Garrus walked towards their respective offices.

Garrus chuckled. "I give her two minutes tops, though knowing Shepard, she'll turn this into a bigger priority than stopping the Collectors."

"That I don't doubt," said Miranda, shaking her head. "Let's get back to work before she comes running back down here and kicks us."

* * *

Miya tore her cabin apart searching under everything and in every little space she could find in her room and still she was unable to locate the tiny little fur ball her universe revolved around. She leapt up from underneath her bed and rushed around her room again, pulling up every couch cushion that was already on the floor, making doubly sure that her hamster had not hidden himself underneath them after they were removed from the couch. This was not a simple hamster that has gone missing, it was her hamster, her best friend, and she was terrified that something terrible had happened to him.

"EDI, can you track organics on the _Normandy_?" asked Miya, her voice trembling as she went over to her dresser and started pulling clothes out left, right, and center.

"Of course, Commander," replied EDI, her voice echoing through the cabin. "Whom do you need me to locate?"

"A small hamster, his thermal signature will be very small and concentrated," said Miya, thankful the AI would be of some help.

There were a few minutes of silence before EDI came back online. "I have detected a great many of those signatures you have described in Mordin's lab."

Miya paled, the thought of her sweet little hamster being the subject of one of Mordin's twisted experiments was too much to bear. "I'm headed down there, do not warn him."

"Yes, Commander," said EDI.

She dashed out of her cabin, nearly tripping on the discarded clothes and shoes, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for the CIC hoping she was not too late.

* * *

When she arrived at Mordin's laboratory she went straight to the Salarian, glaring at him as if he had already done something to her hamster. The scientist looked up from his microscope and wrote something on his electronic tablet before turing to face the pink-haired commander, who's face was screwed up in a look so icy it could have frozen Hell.

Miya slammed her fists down on the counter, pushing herself so she was only a few inches away from his face, her eyes sparkling with rage. "Where is he, Mordin?"

"Where is who, Shepard?" asked Mordin calmly, not even perturbed by the sudden intrusion into his personal space. "Thane, life support. Garrus, main battery. Jacob, armory. Joker—"

"Not members of my crew, you overgrown iguana!" shouted Miya. "My hamster! EDI said she read his heat signature in your lab! I know you have him, so cough him up!"

Mordin stared blankly at her. "I don't recall eating a small, furry rodent, Shepard."

That comment almost made Miya lose her stern composure completely, when she told Mordin to cough up her hamster, she had no idea that he would take it so literally. "I'm not accusing you of eating my hamster, just of taking him for some type of experiment." she said, looking ashamed of herself.

The Salarian did not yell nor did he get angry with her, instead he smiled. "I have not, Shepard. Hamsters too small for proper experiments. Besides, researching something for Donnelly."

Miya pushed herself away from the counter, hugging her arms around her chest. "Thanks, Mordin, I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"No problem, Shepard. Here for you if you need me," said Mordin happily as he turned back to his work.

* * *

Miya left the laboratory upset, she had hoped Major Fluffball would have been in there with Mordin, at least she would have known he was alright save for being kidnapped by a mad scientist. She hurriedly walked through the CIC, her body trembling as she entered the cockpit, she stood behind Joker not sure what to tell him about her hamster.

Joker spun around when he heard her footsteps come to a halt behind him. "Well, well, if it isn't the Pint-Sized Powerhouse. I heard you kicked Kelly in the shin, what'd she do now? Bring a Varren on board like a stray dog?"

Miya shook her head, her grey eyes brimming with unshed tears. "No, she lost . . . my hamster."

The pilot's usual devil-may-care smile fell away when he saw the resolve of his fearless commander falling away, he immediately closed the doors to the cockpit and stood up, opening his arms wide. Miya rushed into his arms taking comfort in her friend's warm embrace, the pain she had been trying to keep hidden rushing to the surface like a geyser, tears rushed down her cheeks and soaked into Joker's shirt, he did not push her away. The pilot knew why losing her hamster hurt her so much, even though it was not the same hamster she had had on Mindoir, that little ball of fur was the only link she had left to her past.

Joker stroked the pink shock of hair that barely came up to his shoulders. "Shh, Miya, calm down. We'll find him, don't worry, even if it takes the rest of the mission."

Miya buried her head further into Joker's chest, taking comfort in his words despite the fact she wanted to find her hamster before she went to bed, she was grateful to have a friend as understanding as he was. "I hope you're right, Joker," sniffed Miya as she fell away from his embrace.

"Commander, you know I'm right, you're just too stubborn to admit it," teased Joker as he eased himself back into his chair. "If you want, you can make an announcement to entire ship and request we start a ship-wide search for the little furry demon. I know that's partly why you came in here in the first place."

Miya chuckled, he knew her better than she knew herself sometimes. "I might just do that, Joker." She walked over and pressed the intercom button, clearing her throat before making the announcement. "Attention crew," she said, her voice shaky but clear. "This is a red alert, drop everything you are currently doing if it is not vital to the functioning of the ship, and start looking everywhere for my hamster. This is a top priority, we will not be undertaking anymore missions until my hamster is found."

She closed the channel and turned to Joker, who was smiling at her, his green eyes dancing with an amused light.

"I bet the crew was happy to hear that," chuckled Joker. "You know, even if the search doesn't turn up your hamster right away, you'll at least have a consolation prize."

Miya raised an eyebrow. "What prize would that be?"

"You'll get to see Miranda bent over a few desks," said Joker with a straight face as Miya turned a brilliant shade of bright red. She was about to say something but instead turned tail and left the cockpit, the visual Joker had just given her still dancing in her mind.

* * *

The crew searched high and low for hours, checking every crack they could find and under every crate but still they turned up nothing. Miya was at the head of each search party, tearing apart her ship room by room even thinking of pulling out the walls and ceiling so they could check to see if her hamster were in any air duct. The thought of him being tangled up in wires and suffocating was frightening to her, but Tali convinced her that tearing out walls would do nothing but create more work for them in the long run. In the end she had to agree, as much as it pained her to do so, it would be unwise to destroy the ship just in the name of a hamster. The last place she fully searched was the kitchen, Miranda and Jacob were assisting her in the search as the rest of the crew were in various other places carrying out their own searches.

"Anything?" she asked Jacob as he pulled his head out of the oven.

Jacob shook his head. "I'm sorry, Commander, not even a piece of hair."

Miya wanted to cry, this search was accomplishing nothing, instead it was just upsetting her even more. She turned around when she heard familiar footsteps approaching, she was surprised to see Liara walking up to her, she had been down in engineering with Tali seemingly avoiding the search altogether. "Shepard," she called as she came up to the trio, "I'm sorry to disturb you but I have to beg you, give up the search, at least for now. We have the Shadow Broker to stop and Feron to rescue, surely that should take priority over locating a small Earth rodent?"

Miya gave her a deadly glare, Liara had been acting cold and unfeeling since they had been reunited but this was taking it to an entirely new extreme. Didn't she realize how important this was to her? "Liara, we'll go fight the fucking Shadow Broker when I'm good and ready," snapped Miya, "in case you've forgotten, I'm in charge on this ship, not you nor will you ever be."

Liara bowed her head, quite ashamed of herself. "I'm very sorry, Shepard, I've obviously overstepped my bounds. I will not repeat this offense again, forgive me."

"Make sure you remember that the next time you think to tell me how to run my goddamn ship," said Miya and she headed towards the elevator, fed up with her crew and her supposed friends.

Jacob and Miranda watched her leave, Liara simply walked to the medbay not even sparing a second glance in Miya's direction.

"Damn, who would've thought the Butcher of Torfan had a soft spot for a hamster," whispered Jacob to Miranda.

The operative shrugged. "I find it endearing," she said fondly. "Having such a care for a small creature shows her as more human than the stories claim, which is all the more reason we find her pet."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain?"

"We need her focused, if she's worrying about her hamster she won't be focused on the mission at hand, and at the same time she needs to stay human," said Miranda sternly. "If she loses her humanity during this mission then we will have lost the real Miya Shepard, and that is something we cannot afford to let happen."

"I can see the logic," said Jacob and he knelt down on the floor again, "help me move the oven, we should look behind here, too."

* * *

Miya paced the length of her cabin for a long time, her legs had long since gone numb against the pain of being in constant unyielding movement, her mind only focused on thinking of where her hamster might be. Liara's words continued to echo through her head, maybe it would be best to tell everyone to stop searching and to continue on with the mission at hand, finding the Shadow Broker was indeed what she should be focused on. Why was finding this little hamster so damn important to her? He had gone missing a few times before now and she had never tried to tear apart the ship, then it struck her like a bolt of lightening: she felt a need save him because if she could not keep a tiny rodent safe what chance did she have of saving humanity from the Collectors? She felt some kind of peace when she realized why she was making a bigger deal out of this than before, it was almost calming to know she put so much priority in saving humanity and all other creatures. Miya was just about to head to her shower when she heard someone knock on her door, which was strange since no one had ever knocked before.

"It's open," she said loudly.

The doors opened to reveal Miranda standing there with her hands cupped together as if she were holding something. "Shepard, I'm sorry for the intrusion but I think this will more than make up for it," said Miranda happily as she approached Miya.

The commander was taken aback, it was hard enough to be in Miranda's presence when they were in public but having her in the privacy of her cabin was almost unbearable. "What's that, Miranda?" asked Miya nervously as she ran her fingers through her pink hair.

Miranda's blue eyes shone brightly as she moved her hands to reveal a soft fuzzy head and a pair of dark black eyes. "Is this whom we've been looking for?"

Miya's eyes went wide and her smile was even bigger as she took the rodent from Miranda's trembling hands. "Hey you," she said sweetly as she looked at her hamster. "Do you know how much trouble you've caused me?" The rodent squeaked as if informing her that he was indeed aware of the situation, eliciting laughter from both women.

"That's a very spirited creature you've got there, Shepard," chuckled Miranda as she watched her superior gently pet the hamster with her fingers, smiling to herself as she looked on, taking some joy in the fact she had brought this happiness.

"Indeed," said Miya smiling. "Where'd you find him?"

At this question Miranda blushed a lovely shade of pink. "I . . . well . . . I was going to turn in since it was the end of my shift, and I went to pull out some nightclothes when I heard squeaking coming from my top dresser drawer. I opened it and saw a brown fluff ball nestled in my . . . underwear."

Miya's mouth went dry and her eyes were wide, she could not believe that her hamster had gotten himself tangled up in Miranda's underwear drawer. "I'm sorry, Miranda," she said sheepishly, "I'll replace anything he's ruined."

"Well, now I kind of wish he had ruined something," said Miranda with a lilt in her voice, "I think it would've been fun to go underwear shopping with you, Miya. Anyway, now that I've returned your dearest possession to you, I think I'll go back to my cabin. Good night, Miya."

"Night, Miranda," said Miya quietly as she watched Miranda walk away, she noted there was a little more sway in her hips as she left. Miya turned her attention to the tiny ball of fur in her hands. "I don't know whether to be jealous of you or pleased with you, Major Fluffball," she sighed as she put the hamster back in his cage, making sure it was more secured. "I guess I'm a little bit of both, I mean you did sneak into Miranda's underwear drawer which I've always wanted to see, but then again you did give us a push in the right direction." She pushed a few treats through the slits in the top of the cage. "Remind me to buy you a whole head of lettuce, you lucky little bastard."

The hamster squeaked again as he ran around his cage, delighting the Butcher of Torfan in ways she still could not understand but appreciated nonetheless.


End file.
